CM – Mamamia sums up SAS Australia: I AM EMOTIONAL WRECK.


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(Honestly, not a bad home and away story. Hey Channel 7, you can have this for free.)

The five remaining recruits are excited because they’re all over 30, but that excitement … just can’t last any longer. It’s time to break them, physically but also mentally.

The first task of the day requires you to jump off a boat into freezing water and get 15 meters on a VERY thin looking one in less than 90 seconds Dragging rope into a hovering helicopter.

Not easy in everyday life, but last week they literally had to carry a 150 kilogram tree trunk five kilometers. So … SAS just. NO, I WILL NOT BRING MYSELF TO PROVE IT.

Dan is first and makes it 15 seconds behind. As soon as he’s safe in the helicopter, he screams a little, and I thought we learned WEEKS ago that we shouldn’t be happy about the victories !!!

Johannes is next. He’s still nervous when it comes to water, but you wouldn’t know if you looked at him because he dips straight in and makes it to the helicopter with 30 seconds to go.

No woman has this task during the SAS selection completed successfully (I mean, this is only season two, so it’s not … the worrying thing) but JANA IS THE ONE TO DO IT. WE JUST KNOW.

She’s slow on the ladder and frankly it looks like she’s swimming the wrong way.

Jana is halfway when Angry James Bond says it is It’s not uncommon for people to die while training to withdraw.

She finds a different wind, probably because death from falling off a ladder isn’t a good way to go out for this damn tv show and manages to do it just in time to get to the top.

My biggest fear is that someone on Channel 7 will contact me and ask me to try some of the tasks I skipped online. I CAN TALK THE CONVERSATION BUT I ALREADY KNOW I CANNOT GO.

The DS are starting to talk about the fact that there are tough, strong women out there. I mean, personally, I had no idea. Women can be strong, people. Damn news for me!

Suspected sweet potato fryer fan Angry James Bond calls him for interrogation because we just can’t have a sweet potato hater on the team. We’re sorry. That’s how it works. I also think they want to check his mental state before the class
last 48 hours. ¯ _ (ツ) _ / ¯

John says pulling the ladder out was the first thing he felt really good about and had mental clarity. He is fighting the voice in his head that is full of self-doubt, but the angry British have noticed his progress and are proud of him.

He goes back to the accommodation and gets « deep and sh * t » with Sam and says it has found its purpose.

Now is the time to write a death note; a letter that would be given to their family if they died while serving on the SAS.

They have to read these to each other. So … we all have tissues on hand, yes?

Mark was writing to his wife, and it only took him two sentences when the names of his children make him emotional.

Dan also cries while he is his Partner and his son read his message aloud, and then Jana says she will try not to cry through hers.

John goes next and he initiates it to say that his death letter is … happy . He reads to his kids and smiles as he shares how proud he is of his family.

Last comes Sam and he apologizes in advance because he will definitely get emotional.

He starts with a message to his mother and then chokes as he starts talking to his three brothers.

« I will live on in every way through both of you. So in moments of sadness you can find me anywhere if you look carefully. ”

After that, it’s time for a group hug and then Mark suggests that they burn their letters like they were teenage girls right now were dumped *.

Without crying, three Olympians, an NRL star and an actor enter an attack course that is supposed to push them beyond their limits.

The two kilometer long course has no finish line, so all they have to do is drive painful lap after painful lap until the angry British are done with the torture or they withdraw.

One by one, they set off. Except for John, who … tries to leave early and is punished by being called a muppet.

They make it through a second round and Jana is ready to quit if they have to do it again. </ The angry British men are happy with their efforts, which I mean … duh. She literally just collapsed for you!

You get in the car, but our old friend Dr. Dan is brought in to see Jana.

After a while Jana says she can go on and THIS WOMAN IS A GODDAMNING MACHINE.

They go back to camp and everyone is … ruined. Then John says « something seems right » and BOOM.

My favorite part is where his angry little man catches the huge human Sam. Image: Channel 7.

Chelsea McLaughlin is Mamamia’s Senior Entertainment Writer. For more pop culture shots, sarcasm, and … cat content, you can follow her on Instagram.


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