Stephen Colbert literally hid after playing clips from President Donald Trump campaign official Kimberly Guilfoyleâs speech at the Republican National Convention on Monday night.
Calling her a âvengeful banshee who will haunt your dreams,â the Late Show host showed highlights of Guilfoyleâs widely mocked six-minute speech, including a dig she threw in the direction of California. âIf you want to see the socialist Biden-Harris future for our country, just take a look at California,â she shouted at one point.
âIâm trying to look at California, but thereâs fire everywhere because of climate change,â Colbert said in response, before noting that Guilfoyle used to be married to current California Governor Gavin Newsome.
âI think I know who was awarded custody of the rage, because when it came to the presidentâs agenda, she had some very nuanced screams,â Colbert added of Guilfoyle.
Because of the coronavirus pandemic, speakers at the Republican National Convention delivered their speeches inside mostly empty rooms free of audience members. That made Guilfoyleâs loud speaking style incongruous with the surroundings. âLadies and gentlemen, leaders and fighters for freedom and liberty and the American dreamâthe best is yet to come!â she cried out at the end of her speech. The level of volume left Colbert rattled.
âIs the loud lady gone?â he asked while climbing up off the floor after ducking below the camera in mock fear. âIâm scared!â
Back in his seat, he laughed, âThis is the first time in my life Iâve had to turn down the volume on C-SPAN. God, Iâm glad we already had our kids because I think if I was too close to the TV, I might have been sterilized by that. Oh my God. That was a tough act to follow or watch.â
But Guilfoyle wasnât the final speaker of the night, leaving many to try to top her orationâincluding Donald Trump Jr., Guilfoyleâs current boyfriend, and the presidentâs son.
âAccording to one campaign aide, Don Jr. represents the âemotional center of the MAGA universe,ââ Colbert said, citing a New York Times story. âMakes sense. Heâs like a black hole in that he sucks.â
Before digging into Donald Jr.âs speech, however, Colbert focused on his appearance, which quickly became social media fodder on Monday night.Â
âCan we zoom in on Juniorâs sweaty face and wet, bloodshot eyes?â Colbert asked. âEither heâs high or thatâs what happens when you live in the splash zone of Screaminâ Guilfoyle. Just bring a poncho!â
Colbert joked, âIt was his keynote address, in that he looked like he had snorted a key.â
Organizers said night one of the Republican National Convention was supposed to focus on how America is a âland of promise.â But otherwise, the GOP has not released an official party platform for 2020. Instead, GOP leadership rolled over the 2016 platform and continued to pledge support to President Trump.
âThatâs not a political partyâthatâs a cult!â Colbert said about the GOP decision on Monday. He then imitated Trump. âWelcome to the convention, everybody. Take off your masks and put on your matching Nikes and your MAGA hats. Then drink up our bleach-flavored Kool-Aid. Iâm marrying all the daughters. Guess which one first?â
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