Colbert Hides from “Vengeful Banshee” Kimberly Guilfoyle After RNC Speech


    Stephen Colbert literally hid after playing clips from President Donald Trump campaign official Kimberly Guilfoyle’s speech at the Republican National Convention on Monday night.

    Calling her a “vengeful banshee who will haunt your dreams,” the Late Show host showed highlights of Guilfoyle’s widely mocked six-minute speech, including a dig she threw in the direction of California. “If you want to see the socialist Biden-Harris future for our country, just take a look at California,” she shouted at one point.

    “I’m trying to look at California, but there’s fire everywhere because of climate change,” Colbert said in response, before noting that Guilfoyle used to be married to current California Governor Gavin Newsome.

    “I think I know who was awarded custody of the rage, because when it came to the president’s agenda, she had some very nuanced screams,” Colbert added of Guilfoyle.

    Because of the coronavirus pandemic, speakers at the Republican National Convention delivered their speeches inside mostly empty rooms free of audience members. That made Guilfoyle’s loud speaking style incongruous with the surroundings. “Ladies and gentlemen, leaders and fighters for freedom and liberty and the American dream—the best is yet to come!” she cried out at the end of her speech. The level of volume left Colbert rattled.

    “Is the loud lady gone?” he asked while climbing up off the floor after ducking below the camera in mock fear. “I’m scared!”

    Back in his seat, he laughed, “This is the first time in my life I’ve had to turn down the volume on C-SPAN. God, I’m glad we already had our kids because I think if I was too close to the TV, I might have been sterilized by that. Oh my God. That was a tough act to follow or watch.”

    But Guilfoyle wasn’t the final speaker of the night, leaving many to try to top her oration—including Donald Trump Jr., Guilfoyle’s current boyfriend, and the president’s son.

    “According to one campaign aide, Don Jr. represents the ‘emotional center of the MAGA universe,’” Colbert said, citing a New York Times story. “Makes sense. He’s like a black hole in that he sucks.”

    Before digging into Donald Jr.’s speech, however, Colbert focused on his appearance, which quickly became social media fodder on Monday night. 

    “Can we zoom in on Junior’s sweaty face and wet, bloodshot eyes?” Colbert asked. “Either he’s high or that’s what happens when you live in the splash zone of Screamin’ Guilfoyle. Just bring a poncho!”

    Colbert joked, “It was his keynote address, in that he looked like he had snorted a key.”

    Organizers said night one of the Republican National Convention was supposed to focus on how America is a “land of promise.” But otherwise, the GOP has not released an official party platform for 2020. Instead, GOP leadership rolled over the 2016 platform and continued to pledge support to President Trump.

    “That’s not a political party—that’s a cult!” Colbert said about the GOP decision on Monday. He then imitated Trump. “Welcome to the convention, everybody. Take off your masks and put on your matching Nikes and your MAGA hats. Then drink up our bleach-flavored Kool-Aid. I’m marrying all the daughters. Guess which one first?”

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