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Our betting expert with advice for Gareth Bale’s return to London derby, Leicester v Villa, Brighton-Crystal Palace and Fulham at Sheffield United

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Football has clearly gotten wobbly now no one is there to keep an eye on things – but why fight the new normal?

In each team’s last six games, Tottenham and today’s visitors West Ham (430pm) have scored 40 goals between them

Based on that, we just need to find a couple of live lens threats at decent prices and the job is done

Gareth Bale is as short as 6/5 ‘anytime scorer’ on his return It looks a little greedy

The last time Bale was in that London derby he scored But Andy Carroll too These were different days The referee wore a hat

Fortunately, Harry Kane is available ‘scorer anytime’ at 10/11 (Paddy) He has scored eight goals in eight games for Spurs, scoring in five Going up

David Moyes is out of medical isolation and is back in the dugout, unless West Ham prefers to leave him on the bus with a vial of soup and a blanket

The Hammers did a lot better with Moyesy by simply phoning up his cries and demands – much like that old radio show, Stewpot’s Family Favorites, but with a bit more liberal use of the C word

Michail Antonio has been one of Moyes’ best since the start of crowd-free football, scoring in seven of 13 matches Antonio’s return “anytime scorer” at 2/1

Trust the blind justice of Stockley Park and throw a penalty angle when Aston Villa heads to Leicester (715h)

My understanding is that VAR bodies have taken advantage of this international hiatus to carefully review recent decisions and adjust the valve clearances on their algorithmic bollock-dropper

As a result, they gave Manchester United a kick in the 1976 FA Cup Final Hard for Southampton, but fair

Only FIVE Prem teams last season finished with more goals than their game deserved, say “expected goals” boffins At the start of this PL round, 16 of the 20 sides were heading in this direction

Big Cheikhou Kouyate is a ripe ‘anytime’ call at 17/1 (Paddy) against Brighton (2:00 p.m.), and try Aleksander Mitrovic at 8/15 (Paddy) “anytime” for Fulham at Sheffield United ( 12h00)

In Italy, Edin Dzeko should be considered a scorer anytime for Roma (745pm) at 10/11 (BetVic) after his move to Juve turned pear-shaped

West Ham United FC, Premier League, David Moyes, Tottenham Hotspur FC, Saïd Benrahma, Declan Rice, Chelsea FC, Brentford FC