World News – UA – Focusing on men who kill women leaves little room for their victims

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The BBC has been forced to apologize and remove an online trailer for the upcoming documentary series The Trials of Oscar Pistorius

THE world is fascinated by men who kill women We see it in Hollywood movies or in meticulously styled TV series that turn real and fictional serial killers into menacing but alluring idols We see it in the booming real crime documentary section of your favorite streaming service.We see it in media reports that oscillate between salacious horror and flattering sympathy for the men who have been convicted of the most crimes. violent and misogynistic

You could argue that this is just a natural, albeit morbid, curiosity about the minds behind the actions most of us would find unfathomable. But where do you draw the line between trying to make sense of senseless behavior and over-empathizing with abusers at the expense of their victims?

Too often, women and children become extras in the story of how their lives were taken, as if their existence is barely worth a footnote in the epic drama of the larger-than-life character therein. ended And it was before you even questioned, even without foundation or fueled by conspiracy, that the man in question actually committed the murders. In this case, they become the « real » victim, and the people who were killed might as well have never lived at all.

This week the BBC proved that the best efforts of anti-violence against women activists to raise awareness of these issues have yet to filter through to many working in the media, and that it is by no means a problem only of the tabloid press The national broadcaster was forced to apologize and remove an online trailer for upcoming documentary series The Trials of Oscar Pistorius on Tuesday after being criticized for not naming 30-year-old model Reeva Steenkamp and aspiring lawyer Pistorius was convicted of the murder

The press release was also quietly amended so that the original description that Pistorius had « suddenly found himself at the center of a murder investigation » on Valentine’s Day 2013 has been replaced to read that he  » had been charged with murder when he killed his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp »

This strangely passive phrasing and the murdered woman’s relegation to the shadows sparked such a strong reaction not only because it’s unfair to Steenkamp’s memory, but because it’s not the first or the hundredth. times this happens to women whose lives have been cut off so violently Saying very little the BBC has managed to say a lot about whose voice, whose story, whose experience deserves to be amplified

And while the trailer has been pulled, it’s not at all clear that the documentary itself is going to be much better. Series director Daniel Gordon told Salon last month that he was « still spinning. -face ‘to find out if what had happened was really premeditated murder or a case of mistaken identity and self-defense as Pistorius claims, while for the BBC publication he says that « the story of ‘Oscar Pistorius’ is ‘both inspiring and heartbreaking’

As an « international hero, who has inspired millions of people with his determination and dedication » – in the words of praise from the BBC press release – the discussion surrounding the investigation and trial of the South Paralympic and Olympic sprinter -African Pistorius was always going to be a challenge for domestic violence survivors and anyone who cares when high-profile cases like this unfold in the media and in the public imagination, regardless of the circumstances or the evidence, you can count on them for there to be a surge of support from the unwavering fans of the beloved (and doomed) accused ) Many clearly find it difficult to accept that someone can be likeable, even admirable, in other aspects of their life, and continue to commit violence against the women closest to them, or they clamor to find apologies to them when they do

Even a cover which does not seek to excuse the violence but to demonstrate how « shocking » it is regularly falls into the trap of agony over all the attractive qualities and seemingly incongruous behavior of the author. He was a cool guy He had a promising career He helped old ladies with their shopping and wiped snot off babies’ faces with his shirt sleeve There is no limit to the superfluous details that can be offered in telling the stories of violent men, adding another layer of intrigue to disturbing events

The problem is that this concern, this apparent wonder that a « nice » man could be responsible for such acts, only further undermines people’s understanding of the nature of the problem. In reality, there is nothing surprising about this juxtaposition; It happens all the time But when this feeling of perpetual disbelief is prevalent across media and social media, it only makes it harder for other victims of abuse – those who still have a voice.

It also fundamentally fails to get to the root of the problem.The obsession with individual examples – with the inner workings of a mind capable of murder, with what they ate for breakfast as a child, or (worst of all) ) with whatever their partner, ex-partner, mother or kindergarten has done to annoy them – distracted from the fact that these are not isolated incidents but part of a society

Last year nine women in Scotland were killed by their male partners or ex-partners Over the past decade 74 Scottish women ended the lives of men they were or had been in a relationship with In 2019- 2020, there were over 30,000 domestic violence charges laid by police in Scotland, including 553 aggravated assaults and attempted murders, and nearly nine in 10 accused were men Analysis of domestic homicides of women by men across the UK found that a pattern of controlling behavior, rather than a history of violence, was the greatest predictor of lethal violence – with women choosing to leave the relationship

Domestic violence activist Luke Hart, whose father murdered his mother and sister in Lincolnshire in 2016, said the murder was ‘the ultimate act of control’ The victim’s right to live, speak, think for themselves is literally taken away Following initial media coverage, which the two surviving brothers felt expressed too much sympathy for their abusive father, the Harts raised awareness of the causes of violence against women and children, and shared their memories of their mother and sister along the way Many were moved by their story

How much more interesting and useful would it be to hear more from those living with the consequences of abuse and murder than to review another tale of the “troubled soul” behind the violence? After years of cultural conditioning, it may seem difficult to turn the script around this way, but it’s not impossible Take for example Michelle MacNamara’s book “I’ll Be Gone in the Dark” and the documentary he wrote. inspired A Review of the ‘Golden State Killer’s Crimes’, it’s a story that is less about the man who committed these horrific rapes and murders than about the effect it had on his victims, the investigators he escaped and the communities he terrorized

While murder is the surest way to take control of a person’s life, it seems too much of the answer to it lies directly in the hands of those who commit it. By allowing violent men to tell the story while their victims are forgotten, women whose power has been stolen from them are only helpless in death. Why not take back control of the narrative and ensure that women whose lives have been deemed unsustainable by their abusers are brought to the forefront of how we talk about the violence they have endured?

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Reeva Steenkamp, ​​Oscar Pistorius, Simone Steenkamp